Okayest Daughter

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As some of you know, my relationship with my dad has been strained and basically non-existent. Some years we talk. Last year, we didn’t talk at all. I didn’t call him anymore. He never called me. We definitely have a failure to communicate on the most basic level.

I don’t think my dad is a bad man. We just don’t understand each other all of the time.

I’ve heard through the grapevine that he hasn’t been well. So I called him last night for the first time in over a year. I was doing the dishes and knew that I needed to call him immediately.

I had to call someone else to find his phone number. Sad, right? When I called him the last time, I had a different phone.

He has not been well. He’s had a series of mini-strokes.

I was going to ask him questions about why he never calls or if he’s mad at me. I did not. None of those questions seemed important anymore.

He talked to me for at least an hour. It might have been two.

So that’s where we are right now. Maybe we’ll have lunch sometime. I will try to be better than just the “okayest daughter.”

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/189291990564813719/

My Dad Deserves Better Than the World’s Okayest Daughter

“Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.

13 Comments

  1. As someone who also has an incredibly difficult relationship with her dad, I can relate on so many levels and am glad last night’s chat went so well.

    1. holley4734 – “Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.
      holley4734 says:

      Thanks! I wasn’t sure how it would go. But I was glad that I called. 🙂 Also, good to know I’m not the only one with the same situation. Kind of. Growing up is a bunch of b.s. isn’t it?

  2. I’m not very attached to my father too. But we live under the same roof, so it’s kind of moving. I hope you repair your relationship with him and make lots of memories 😊❤️

    1. holley4734 – “Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.
      holley4734 says:

      Thanks for sharing about your relationship. Thanks, that’s sweet. 🙂

  3. So happy for you that your talk went well. That must be quite stressful. Good for you for making that move this time. I can only imagine how hard it is when you haven’t been close and don’t have regular communication. Take care.

    1. holley4734 – “Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.
      holley4734 says:

      Thanks. It is a bit stressful. And weird.

  4. I am glad your talk went well. Hopefully you two will be on a path to a little bit more communication.

    1. holley4734 – “Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.
      holley4734 says:

      Thanks! I hope so too.

  5. waternymph88 – London, England – 39, recovering from breast cancer surgery, writer, animal lover, reader, swimmer. Love exercising, sleeping, and watching Agatha Christie adaptations.
    waternymph88 says:

    Glad the talk went well. Hope your Dad will get some respite from his health problems and that you get to see him soon xxx

  6. Relationships are so hard especially with parents. You won’t regret reaching out but you would’ve if you didn’t.

  7. JunkChuck – Westsylvania, PA, USA – Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels, growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
    JunkChuck says:

    It’s good to hear you’re making headway. As a father, I’m heartbroken to hear this kind of story. As a son who spent my childhood terrified of my father, and later went 15 years without talking to hm, I get it. My dad wasn’t a good guy and I got tired of forgiving him. He eventually grew up, earned his way back into my trust, and proved himself to be a decent grandfather. I was just beginning to like him when he died two years ago, and while it would be a lie to say that I loved him in the end, I’d grown to enjoy his company and even miss him from time to time. It’s a good thing, to be rid of the angst and anger, as long as he’s meeting you halfway. I’m rooting for you both.

    1. holley4734 – “Just a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.
      holley4734 says:

      Aww. Thanks 🙂 thanks for sharing the story of your relationship.

  8. I totally get it. My relationship with my dad is fine – I can’t point to a single tangible problem – but we’re just not close. I forget to call him on holidays and basically also feel like the world’s OKest daughter.

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