Dear Time Warner, Come get your Shit.

Dear Time Warner,

It’s me and not you. Well, it started out as me and then it turned into you.

I had an account with you for two years. At the end of the two years, which would have been August 2015, I had forgotten that the automated payments were set up with the credit card that also expired in August 2015. It happens. I was also moving so the soon to be expiring credit card was the last thing on my mind. Until I could not find said replacement card.

Anyway, so I was distracted by a million other things -like moving and replacing the replacement card. All of this was totally fault, I understand that.

So the part that I don’t understand is why doesn’t anyone in your company know what’s going on with anything? Seriously, it took a week to transfer my internet service. My kids were on the brink of rioting.

I was on the phone with at least ten people. One person basically said, “We don’t do that.” I was just asking her to transfer me to the right department by you guys don’t do that apparently.

Then this newest snafu with the billpay. The payment has just disappeared. You don’t have it. The banks says it was paid. Every time I called, your customer service said “Oh yeah, it could take up to five days.” Some people were jerks. Some people were very nice.

What’s the deal with the automated calls? For at least two weeks, you called me three times a day to get your money that I had already paid. It’s excessive, isn’t it? I’m sure I told one of the reps to quit fucking calling me three times a day.

Upon further review of that particular payment, I noticed that the bill was paid within two days. It was paid way before you interrupted my service.

I spent an hour chatting with customer service online – at someone else’s house, of course. They were helpful but still could not cancel my service. They threatened to break up with me but I am ready. Please break up with me. I welcome the break.

To add insult to injury, when I called to  really, really break up with  you, I was on hold for 25 minutes. 25 minutes that don’t include the 2 other calls that were disconnected. Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I picture all of the customer service reps standing around looking at my number on the caller ID, saying, “Oh man, it’s her again. I’m not answering.”

I tried to contact you on Twitter. Nothing but crickets. So now you’re ghosting me? I’m sure that you’ll be calling me three times a day soon. Yeah, don’t. Just don’t.

So it’s you.

I’m beyond done with having you in my life. Come get your shit. I’m not even joking.

No love for you,

Holley