Depression is a sneaky beast. You think everything is going as well as it can. Then depression sneaks in to flip the switch from Ok to Not Ok. I had a vision once and now it’s unclear.
I have asked myself a million times this week, “When did I become so unmotivated? Why don’t I want to do anything? When did I brush my hair last?” My mom said something about split milk. God bless my mom and her typos. She meant spilled milk but the split milk sounded kind of like it could be a thing. Also, if I don’t take a shower, I’m going to smell like sour milk and that is kind of gross.
Right now, I want to go back to bed and hide. When the thought of crawling into bed crosses my mind, I don’t think I’m hiding. I don’t even know what I’m hiding from exactly. There’s nothing in particular, yet it feels like everything. Every day for the last few weeks, I think I’ll be productive, do some reading or blogging. But in reality, I know I will fall asleep. Today my cat, Manny Pacquiemeow, and I stayed awake for about 3 hours in between naps.
I included an infographic that is accurate for me. Depression is different for everyone. Even the different depressive episodes that I have had are not exactly the same. Usually something major triggers my depression but not this time. I thought I was alright but then I realized that I was not alright at all.
So how do you flip the switch back to being motivated? Small steps. I definitely do not have the right answer but I’ve been trying to do the following things so I don’t fall down a never-ending rabbit hole of sadness.
- Get out of bed
- Eat something. Drink something.
- Do one thing around the house, like the dishes or a load of laundry.
- Take a shower.
- Do something that you like. Maybe bake or make some art. I’m still working on this one. I was thinking of doing a photo challenge. It’s something that requires me to get out of bed.
- Routine. It sounds boring but getting into the habit of doing stuff could be helpful. Does anyone have a routine that helped get you back on track?
If anyone has been or the edge or actually fallen down the rabbit hole, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to talk to a therapist or a counselor of some sort.