My mom said something about split milk. God bless my mom and her typos. She meant spilled milk but the split milk sounded kind of like it could be a thing. Also, if I don’t take a shower, I’m going to smell like sour milk and that is kind of gross.
Depression is a sneaky beast. You think everything is going as well as it can. Then depression sneaks in to flip the switch from Ok to Not Ok. I had a vision once and now it’s unclear.
I have asked myself a million times this week, “When did I become so unmotivated? Why don’t I want to do anything? When did I brush my hair last?”
Right now, I want to go back to bed and hide. When the thought of crawling into bed crosses my mind, I don’t think I’m hiding. I don’t even know what I’m hiding from exactly. There’s nothing in particular, yet it feels like everything. Every day for the last few weeks, I think I’ll be productive, and do some reading or blogging. But in reality, I know I will fall asleep. Today my cat, Manny Pacquiemeow, and I stayed awake for about 3 hours in between naps.
I included an infographic that is accurate for me. Depression is different for everyone. Even the different depressive episodes that I have had are not exactly the same. Usually something major triggers my depression but not this time. I thought I was alright but then I realized that I was not alright at all.
So how do you flip the switch back to being motivated? Small steps. I definitely do not have the right answer but I’ve been trying to do the following things so I don’t fall down a never-ending rabbit hole of sadness.
- Get out of bed
- Eat something. Drink something.
- Do one thing around the house, like the dishes or a load of laundry.
- Take a shower.
- Do something that you like. Maybe bake or make some art. I’m still working on this one. I was thinking of doing a photo challenge. It’s something that requires me to get out of bed.
- Routine. It sounds boring but getting into the habit of doing stuff could be helpful. Does anyone have a routine that helped get you back on track?
If anyone has been or the edge or actually fallen down the rabbit hole, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to talk to a therapist or a counselor of some sort.