Ok, so this is a hill I didn’t realize I was willing to die on until very recently. It’s gonna be a controversial one so BUCKLE UP FOLKS CUZ THIS RIDE’S GONNA BE A WILD ONE!
So, earlier this summer (trying to stick to the summer theme here) I had to isolate for two weeks because I was riddled with COVID. This was literally just two days after our excellent and superbly successful set at Bloodstock Festival. So spiritually I was feeling great, physically felt like a sack of shit.
With nothing to do, my bandmates decided to lend me their copy of Pokemon Brilliant Diamond for me to play whilst sweating my organs out and coughing an inhuman amount of mucous. It’s been a while since I played a Pokemon game so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get back into it.
Despite some faults, I’m thoroughly enjoying the game and would recommend it. However, a thought occurred to me whilst playing the game that I had never thought of before: I wholeheartedly believe that Flying types should be super effective against Water type Pokemon. Hear me out, because I’m confident I will convert all you crazy non believers.
Firstly, in real life the birds – they eat the fishies. Birds eat fish, and pretty much every single water type Pokemon is some kind of fish so that’s already an excellent point I’m making. My Starly used Peck on a Magikarp and didn’t kill it in one go and I thought “that’s stupid, a bird would have fucked up a fish out of water in a heartbeat. Probably would have swooped down to wreck the fish WHILST IN WATER.” Don’t believe me? Try eating fish and chips in any seaside town in the UK and watch in horror as the sky blackens with the flaps of a thousand angry seagulls ready to pounce on anything that stands between them and your food.
Secondly, the ménage à trois of Pokemon types. Rock is not very effective against Water types, but is super effective against Flying types. If Flying was super effective against Water, and weak against Rock, then we’d have a good love-triangle situation between those three types. A similar argument could be made for Ice and Grass types.
Thirdly, up until the past few generation of games, you pretty much needed a flying type Pokemon in your party at all times so you could use Fly (the whole HM system seems different and scary now so this is less relevant for newer generations I think?). Problem with that is, most Flying type Pokemon are pretty weak, with the exception of legendary Pokemon. Their moves are pretty weak as well, with Sky Attack being the only strong Flying type move that I can remember. Seems like by giving Flying Types another advantage, they’d be more than just mere HM slaves in your party and they could be actually viable Pokemon. Maybe then battling against a Gyarados wouldn’t be such a goddamn pain in the ass every time.
I have approached the end and I now realize that none of these are compelling arguments. I also realize it’s Friday night and I’m essentially writing a bullshit essay on a topic that means nothing to anybody and I think I can feel my sanity waning, fading into a slow oblivion. But I had my back up against the wall and needed to write about *something*. Sorry you had to read this, now please pre-order our upcoming album ‘Look At Me Now’ over at www.novacrowofficial.com/store so I don’t feel like as much of a dingus for writing this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to question some of my life choices.