Kicked a Bad Habit . . . Not Really Bad . . . Kind of Weird . . . NaBloPoMo


From about 1988 until 2008, I had a habit. It wasn’t unhealthy. It wasn’t illegal or dangerous. My habit was really strange. I used to tear pieces of paper and roll them up. Then I would roll the paper between my finger and thumb for hours until the paper crumbled or I dropped it. People knew where I had been because there were little pieces of paper everywhere. I didn’t have a time limit on how long I did this because I was anxious all day every day. For twenty years, there was always a little piece of paper in my hand, unless I was sleeping or bathing. Twenty years. That is a lot of anxiety.
I’m fairly sure that I did this weird habit because I was anxious. Someone told me that other people do similar things with worry stones. Maybe Santa will bring a case of worry stones to my house this Christmas. I wish I had known this before because I could have saved about a thousand trees. I was also particular about the type of paper. Some paper doesn’t roll as well or last very long.
After I had my last child, I finally quit. Being too exhausted stopped me from tearing up paper. My hands were usually too busy making bottles or changing diapers. Actually, I just confessed yesterday to my boyfriend that I had this issue with paper. Does anyone else have a weird habit?

Leave a Reply