thank you: #fmsphotoaday


Grandma took the kids outside. Thank you!

Photo A Day | Week Nine | February/March

If we were having coffee: Hobbit edition

If we were having coffee, I would

  • Tell you how glad I am to see you. Also, I would apologize for not getting a haircut. I’m starting to look like an extra in “The Hobbit.” More like an orc or a hobbit – less like an elf. Hoping that more coffee will help motivate me.
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  • Mention that we did watch “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.”
  • Laugh about how my mom has not watched any movies like “The Hobbit.” The conversation went something like this.  Mom: what are those tall creatures? Are they elves? Me: Yes. They are elves.
  • Apparently, she didn’t appreciate the movie. My kids woke her up so she would quit snoring louder than the orcs.
  • Tell you about my college friends blog. We talked about all types of blog issues. He does not appreciate “The Hobbit.” However, he knows all there us to know about “It’s a Wonderful Life.” His blog is here on Blogger.
  • Mention that I need this mug in a serious way.

A Day in which I must go buy batteries instead of plan for World Domination

I don’t want to go to the store. Didn’t I just go there? No, no that was the comic book store. They don’t have batteries or deodorant. It wouldn’t be a bad idea though. Comic book stores could make a killing on batteries and deodorant.

Oh wait, I need batteries for my recorder. It went haywire just as I was about to use it. I swear. Literally.


I was totally going to work on this interview with Kyle Sanders of Hellyeah. I recorded it onto the computer and everything.It didn’t work so well for me this time.

Then the whole haywire swearing situation happened. I took this cool picture though. Not a total waste of the day yet.

Now I have to go to the store. Again. I swear I was just there. Maybe that was last week.

There will be more swearing I promise. Nope, no store yet. I have just run out of time. There will not be rock and roll domination today. Well, at least not on this blog. Tomorrow. I will dominate rock and roll tomorrow. Or maybe Monday. Monday is always good for world domination, isn’t it?

In the meantime, enjoy this funny comic strip.

Jail is not for Socializing: Daily Post

When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?

I felt lonely today but it wasn’t like being truly lonely. The last time that I was actually lonely was almost three years ago.

I don’t even want to tell you because it’s a little embarrassing. Really and truly embarrassing. So here it goes.

This one time I got arrested for a ridiculous charge and went to jail. It was for one long, long evening. I spent the night in a cell next to a guy that didn’t want to reveal his identity. He was a raving lunatic. Maybe he didn’t want his name to be associated with what a freaking jerk he was.

All night long, I had to listen to him harass the jail guards. They finally put him in that chair.

This one.


Not this one.

Either way, it wasn’t funny at the time. That dude was the least funny dude on the planet. At some point in the middle of the night, he finally passed out. (Thank you God for this small favor.)

I don’t know what time it was because they covered everyone’s window and I could not see the clock.

My jail guard was a bitch. She didn’t bother to even give me a blanket. So since jail isn’t for crybabies, I didn’t cry. It wasn’t going to do any good, right?

Jail food is awful. It is worse than the rumors. I think it was bologna but maybe it was turkey. If I had stayed longer, I could have lost some weight.

On top of everything else, I was worried that people would believe the charge. I was planning on being in jail for several months. This meant that I would lose my job, my kids and any relationship with friends and family that I had before

People aren’t really into socializing while in jail. Everyone is worried about their own problems. One chick had bail set at $20,000. $20,000 just to get out of jail. That didn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t go back either.

Happy hour is not so happy in jail.

After my court hearing, I went back to my cell. It was the worst feeling to think that I was going to be here for awhile. I wished that I had been arrested with a book and a ponytail holder. My hair was a hot mess. I’m sure my mug shot is not so lovely. I don’t even think I can stand to look at it.

One of the officers came to my cell and told me I was free to go. I thought maybe he had the wrong person. Whatever. I was getting the heck out of there and not looking back.

My mom and boyfriend were waiting for me in the lobby. My mom told me, “Well, now you can cross this off of your bucket list.” I was never so happy to see anyone in my whole life.

By the way, it wasn’t on my bucket list. So that was the worst day ever. And now you all know.

I’m still the same person I was yesterday so try not to think poorly of me. This was just one horrible day in my life.