I’ve had three premonitions. They weren’t about my future at all. It’s going to sound weird but I knew that three people were going to die or had died already.
A few hours after the Daytona 500 in 2001, I was getting a soda from a vending machine. This vending machine had Dale Earnhardt’s picture on it. Well, I’m pretty sure it was him. I know next to nothing about racing. The picture of him probably had his name on it.
I knew that Dale Earnhardt had died. Like how you know something in your bones. It seems ridiculous and you don’t have proof but you know.
Several hours later, they announced it on the news.
Another time, I had a dream about a resident at a nursing home where I used to work. I had that feeling again. A few days later, her obituary was in the newspaper.
After I had a premonition about the third person, she was hospitalized. I was hoping that I was wrong. Luckily, she recovered and was released from the hospital. She’s still alive and kicking.
Premonitions aren’t always 100%. Maybe I’m not like that Angel of Death cat that lived in the nursing home after all.
Evanescent: soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.
The road is too long. People pushing me.
Faster and forward.
Their path is not mine.
I missed the exit ramp. The curve looks like falling and restlessness.
This is not driving.
Write about the one X that got away — a person, an experience, a place you wanted to visit. How much would you change about your life to have it within reach again?
Wow! What a difficult question!
For a long time, I would have changed everything if it was possible to get back to that place and time. Everything! I would have stayed in the city that we lived in, instead of moving. We were on again off again for a year or so. At the time, I didn’t think that we were going to be on again. So I moved in with someone else.
He called me after I moved to ask me to move in with him. Worst timing ever. I should have accepted his offer, even if the other person that I moved in with would hated me forever. The second person would have gotten over it and married someone sooner or later. I eventually married and divorced the other person. So the second person hates me anyway so that would not have mattered.
I regretted not taking the risk for many years.
My life would have been different with him. We would have probably been happy but there aren’t guarantees.
I imagine that there would have been a life of writing, concerts, Chinese food and comic books. So sort of like now but in a city and maybe without children.
Then I met someone that changed my answer to the initial question. How much would I change to get back to that point? Nothing. I would not change anything if I still ended up here with my person.
The one that got away and I both have blogs on WordPress. I’m always tempted to tag him but I never do. I don’t follow him either. I looked at his blog today and felt like a creeper. I didn’t have any feelings like, “Oh, I miss him so much. I wish. I wish. I wish.” I just thought his blog looked nice. Progress.
I wrote this post about how his then girlfriend and now wife looks like me. So it’s like my doppelganger married the one that got away.
You have to spend one day as or with your favorite fictional character. Which one would it be and what would you do?
It’s a difficult choice. There are so many great characters. However, I would choose to be Alice in Wonderland.
I would find the Mad Hatter immediately. After we make some rather amazing hats, then we’ll have a tea party but instead of tea we’ll have booze. Special magical booze that doesn’t let us get too drunk. Tea parties aren’t as much fun when you’re too smashed to lift your teacup. No one likes hangovers either.
Then the Mad Hatter and I will design outfits to go with the hats. We could paint beautiful pictures and write haikus.
There should definitely be roller skating and a disco ball.
If there’s still time, then we could play pranks on the Queen of Hearts. How much fun would it be to prank call the Queen of Hearts? If she finds out that we’re pranking her, she might not take it well.
Then we will have to capture the Jabberwocky in order to win the day. Remember that we can do so many impossible things before lunch.
The last thing that I wrote.
If you had to live forever as either a child, an adolescent, or an adult, which would you choose — and why?
Does this mean I’m a vampire? If not, could I be a vampire anyway? Please and thank you.
I could live for eternity as a 25 year old vampire.
25 was a good age. Not too young. Not too old. I wasn’t too skinny or too fat.
When you’re 25, you can date older people. I’m reminded of that one guy that said he wouldn’t date me unless I was 25. I think his point was that 21 year old chicks were drunk all the time. I don’t remember – I was 21 and kind of drunk.
Older guys weren’t my thing anyway. People change. Older could be my thing if I’m a vampire. When I say older I mean like 45 or 50ish.
Someday, I might meet a really distinguished looking older vampire, who looks 40 but he’s really 140.
I am picturing Benicio Del Toro as my future vampire husband. He could totally be a handsome vampire. Mr. and Mrs. Benicio Del Toro for all of eternity. It sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Is it creepy to write it on my notebook? What about the 10 to 20 pictures that I have of him saved on Pinterest?
No one would even notice that we’re vampires. We both have that constantly sleepy look. Plus, we’re rocking the grey with black undertones hairstyle.
My one request is that I don’t have to listen to music that was popular when I was actually 25. If you insist, I will party like it’s 1999 . . . again.
Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?
Destiny. Destiny. Destiny.
I firmly believe that I can control my own destiny. I’m still not a superhero princess. Are we sure that isn’t my destiny? I should work on that. .
I named this blog after destiny for gosh sake. I’m still chasing destiny with fancy words. Destino is fancier than destiny.
This week, I hear that little voice that says “You don’t have to post anything anywhere else if you don’t want to. If people don’t like it, then too bad for them. Maybe it’s not your destiny to be over there. Maybe you should be right here.”
I don’t have to define myself by where I’ve been published. It’s probably what people see and that’s ok. I put myself out there.
I thought it would change things somehow. It helped a little but I don’t feel very satisfied at the moment about other writing platforms.
Do you guys hear that voice? Right now, mine is saying that it’s time to revamp a few things. It’s time to refocus.
It is not my destiny to do what people want me to do. I don’t think it’s in my nature. I’d like to get back to that ASAP.
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