While I appreciate all of the sexy messages that you send me on Instagram, I just cannot reciprocate the sexy messages.

It could be that you’re just sending me spam and you have no idea what I look like. That’s cool. I mean, spam isn’t cool but it’s what you do I guess.

You’re probably a really lovely person. Of course, you could be a 70 year old man with computer skills.  Someone out there thinks that computer skills are sexy, right?

When you send me messages, I do smile. Then I feel a little bit guilty. Maybe I’ve led you on somehow. I smile too much. My eyes are too alluring.

The time has come to tell you the truth. I just don’t feel right leading you on any longer. Maybe after I tell you, you could stop sending me sexy spam messages. It would be a waste of your time and energy.

The truth is that I like men. I just can’t help it. It’s who I am.

P.S. My mom reads this blog. Please, don’t make me call out your sexy messages again. Thanks!