Cougaring it Up: I Can’t Even Lie

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I am guilty. Guilty. Guilty. I have worn absolutely too much makeup to take my car for a visit to the mechanic.

As I was putting on all of the makeup that I own, I wondered why. Why am I putting on all of this stuff? It’s way more than I usually wear and I knew it.

I even brushed and styled my hair. Oh my glob. It has to be special for all of that, doesn’t it? Yes, on any given day, I wear my hair in a ponytail. It’s the only way to keep it tidy.

This was not that kind of day. I was wearing it down and sexified. As sexified as it gets these days. Sexified should be a thing.

Then I realized what I was doing. I was putting on makeup for my mechanic. He’s young and ruggedly handsome. And dirty. Now I’m a dirty, dirty lady for even thinking of being flirty with someone that’s so dirty.

It’s not that I want anything besides to get my car fixed. Really, I don’t even have dirty jokes to go with that statement. The statements are out there I’m sure.

I just want to look at him for a few minutes and bring him cookies. I want to do things, like baking him cookies, because I am absolutely old enough to be his very, very, young stunning mother.

Well, my friend coined the phrase for the day. She said “Oh yeah, dude. You’re totally cougaring it up today.” She said that I just want someone to think I’m pretty or something along those lines.

Is it that simple and vain? I am getting older and dealing with all of the things that go with aging. For example, there are not nearly as many compliments coming my way besides “You’re so funny.” Yes, it’s true. The funny is still intact, thank goodness. If the funny goes too, then I’ll be lost.

Do you have to have money to be a cougar or is it an age thing? I’m not even sure.

Yes, cougaring it up. Let’s go with that for today. I’ll be over here planning my next trip to the mechanic. Luckily, I have a junky car that can help me out with all the trips to the mechanic for the year.

P.S. I’m secretly hoping that he is not reading this. Who can say what the odds are? He could be very well-read. That would be awesome for my fantasy life. A well-read, rugged mechanic. Is there a romance novel about that? There totally should be.

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8 comments

  1. “I’m a dirty, dirty lady.” Lol that cracked me up! Cougar it all up, this guy sounds yummy. I don’t think you need money to be a cougar but a dirty young boy sounds like just the ticket!

    • I was laughing as I was writing. 🙂 Glad I could stop long enough to hit the publish button. 🙂 Sweet!! I know, right?! It does sound like the ticket.

  2. I used to bring cookies to my mechanics. They called me the cookie lady. I got great prices and my car ran like a dream. Also, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be looked at in an appreciative way. Go you!

    • I’ll do what I can . . . sort of . . . people frown upon stalking . . . especially my boyfriend. . . he really frowns upon me stalking other people. So I stalk him as much as I can. lol 🙂

  3. I totally think there should be a book about the dirty well read mechanic and the cougar. Thank you for the giggles I have a very active imagination and wonder how the trip to the autoshop continues on. ☺️

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