I wanted a different life: #NaBloPoMo

Have you ever knowingly (beforehand) hurt someone? Why did you make the decision you made?

Once upon a time, I was married. It sucked. After six months, I knew that it probably wouldn’t last without extensive counseling and rehab.

How do I always end up being the only one sent to counseling? I went by myself to counseling. Typical. That’s how that marriage worked. I worked on therapy stuff by myself and he did whatever he wanted.

Typical narcissist alcoholic behavior.

He also had a “I paid the cost to be the boss” mentality. I didn’t agree with that for many reasons. For one, he made terrible decisions on a regular basis. I always had to pay the bills before he had a chance to go to the bar. Otherwise, there would be no money for food, rent, etc.

He took my car without asking once. It may have been the last straw.

“I Paid the Cost to be the Boss” is a great song but it doesn’t work in real life. Relationships are supposed to be a partnership.

No one went to rehab either. While I was in the house, no one went to AA meetings or the meeting for family members of alcoholics.

So four years later, I left and didn’t look back. I don’t regret leaving. I may regret other things in my life but getting divorced was the best thing I could have done at that point.

He cried once but I was way past the point of caring if his feelings were hurt. Do you think he cared if my feelings were ever hurt? Nope. Not one bit.


He’s still over there drinking and but now he has a partner in crime.

I found this article on Huffington Post about dealing with narcissist behavior. It might help someone out. It’s so simple. I wish I had read this a million years ago.


  1. I believe a lot us had the experience… Thank goodness I was young and learned what I didn’t like and moved on… Thanks for sharing, it’ll help many out their who do get stuck in the thoughts of true love… Barbara

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