Sideways Gaze


There is one book that I’ve been avoiding for about 15 years.
I cannot get rid of it. We give each other sideways glances every so often.
I opened it yesterday.
It’s a self-help book. My notes are in it. I have desperately tried to avoid looking at my own young selfish idiot writing.
The writing inside was surprising and disappointing.
Young selfish idiot me said to listen to my instincts back then too. It only took 20 years to remember.
I had not gotten far in the book – only to day 3 out of 40 days.
Maybe I can move on to day 4 now.

β€œJust a small town girl – living in a lonely world.” Concert tickets are practically essential. Musicals are the key to life. I like movies, music,books, and corny jokes.


  1. Can relate to this totally. I have notes going back years all kept in a locked box. As I get older I worry about what to do with it. I can’t bear to read through them but I can’t bear to burn them. I worry that I will die before I have decided what to do with them and someone will see them and say – yep – we always said she was nuts. You are braver than me. Hope Day 4 is less disappointing. πŸ™‚

  2. I have an innate fear of Iyanla’s books, they seem to get all in your stuff. I have been running for years. Maybe I wasn’t ready to allow my soul to open up, Maybe I should start with one of her other books and see when I can make it through this one without have a major breakdown. Thanks for sharing.

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