Tag Archives: mommyhood

Christmas Doesn’t Have to be Perfect, right?

The tree is up. No mice fell out of it – thank goodness! The box was slightly open so there was a possibility of a mouse hiding in the branches.

The Elf on the Shelf has been found. I forgot her name for a few minutes. It’s Belle. Well, that’s what it said on Instagram.


Most of the decorations are up. I even went through the box that didn’t have a lid.Why didn’t it have a lid?

Also, there were no mice in the box. There was only a huge insect waiting for me at the bottom.

Note to self: Buy a damned lid. Think of it as a Christmas present to yourself.

Unfortunately, I cannot lift the “Ain’t Nobody Got Time Fo’ That” Box. My neighbors probably got a kick out of watching me drag it across the yard. This box makes me laugh every time. It shouldn’t. My boyfriend thinks it’s funny that I took down Christmas decorations down in less than an hour one year. Christmas tree and everything. So he labeled the box with this name as a homage to my lack of Christmas spirit.

He went to the store for milk and when he returned, Christmas was officially over and the tree was stuck in the door. I had a meltdown – like a major, meltdown.

I wanted Christmas to be perfect and magical and lovely like something on the Hallmark Channel. It was nowhere near any of those things.

Every Christmas since then, I look at this box and remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be special. My kids are probably going to fight all day. Someone will leave their belongings somewhere else. I will receive clothes ten sizes too  big. It’s just how things are sometimes.

We are not a Hallmark Channel family. However, we can still have a pretty awesome Christmas. I just saw “The Nightmare Before Christmas” decorations that would be fairly perfect for our house. It would be like Christmas and Halloween all in one.  We can make it work for us.




Love + Gravity

Love + Gravity

After the rush to find matching clothes and  shoes, the morning conversation with the kid usually goes like this:

The kid: Do you think love is stronger than gravity?

Me: I don’t know exactly.

The kid: I wonder . . .

Me: (trying to crash into anyone from staring at the kid in amazement. Yes, I should turn around now.) Yeah, I wonder . . .

For the rest of the day, I really contemplated whether love is stronger than gravity. I suppose love and gravity have a few things in common. Can they really be compared?

You can’t see love or gravity. You can probably see examples of love but you can’t really see any rays of love shooting out of your significant others eyes. The love rays could be problematic if the ex that you still sort of pine for walks into the room. Then everyone knows that you still love them.

Some would say that love and gravity can keep you grounded.However, being grounded by love doesn’t happen for everyone. We all know people that cannot commit to anyone, not even their own children. Love for other people is not inherent in all people.

Gravity on the other hand is with us all of the time,

We can try to block out love but it’s a bit impossible to defy gravity, unless you are in fact Idina Menzel or an astronaut.

School has Come Back to Life

It’s back-to-school time: do you love the start of school or dread it?

Loves her Batman backpack

I thought that I would be so happy to see my kids go off to school. I dreamed about all of the things I would do with my free time. It was going to be glorious.

I can go shopping by myself again but I’m broke after all of the moving. Who is broke after all of the back to school shopping? There will be no shopping today for many of us. I did a u-turn in the Dollar Store parking lot. It’s the best I can do today.

When I dropped of the youngest kid at school, I drove around the block and parked across the street. There were no open spaces in the parking lot. All of the parents had the same idea – hovering and stalking their children.

It was my youngest kid’s first day at a brand new school. I wanted to make sure she didn’t get lost. I also wanted to see that she wasn’t a hot mess like me. I peeked in on her classroom. She was perfectly fine. No tears or anything. She did so much better at not crying than I did today.

When Your Daughter becomes a Fire Breathing Dragon

This is my daughter. She used to be a sweet, loving little girl.

Little Sister #1

Apparently that has changed. I get it. People change. Life goes on. The little girl we once knew is no more.

She used to make cute drawings for me with bunnies and hearts for Christmas. I still have them in a frame.

Now she leaves notes like this around the house. So sweet of her.


The dragon is quite lovely though. If you look close enough, you’ll see a cute little bunny running away from the dragon.

I just wasn’t prepared for all of this hostility from her. Her sisters have been fire breathing dragons since birth. Maybe this daughter is just a late bloomer?

However, I do know why she was angry. She wanted me to move a box of her sister’s toys out of her room. I asked if we could leave it until the morning because it was 10 p.m. and I didn’t know where to put it.

The temper tantrum ensued. Then the note.

So here is my plan.

  1. If the box hasn’t moved, I will move it whether or not I agree with her. Maybe I invaded her space too much with the box of toys?
  2. I’ll keep making rules that she hates. She really hates the “You have to sleep” rule, followed by the “You have to eat” edict.
  3. I’ll be the mommy forever. Follow her around. Embarrass her every now and then with dancing in public or something.
  4. Remember that the sweet, kind, funny girl is still in there somewhere.

My mom said I hated her until I was 20. So in ten more years, she and I will look back on this and laugh. Or she’ll still be trying to burn me to a crisp.

Moving Sessions: #thestruggleisreal


Lunch almost didn’t happen. I could not get the stove to come on. Or the oven. Then I thought I should check the breakers. That was the trick. The breakers were off. So lunch happened without any tears.


I forgot to bring bowls so I ate my ravioli out of this pretty martini glass. Keepin’ it classy.


The furniture hasn’t made it over to the house yet. The kids were clever and used empty boxes for tables.

Now the teenager and I are going to the store to see about getting material to make no sew curtains. We’re going to have crafty time later in between moving sessions. 🙂

Maybe tomorrow I can get the Internet transferred. Every time I called yesterday, I was on hold. Who’s got time for that?

Becoming Anne Bancroft. #MidLife Memories: Daily Post


Which good memories are better — the recent and vivid ones, or those that time has covered in a sweet haze?

I’m still trying to convince myself that I’m 40. Am I really in mid-life?

Honestly, I will take any memory that I can get. I love them all!

I remember being four years old. It might have been the best time ever. I remember Sesame Street and a chocolate cake for my birthday.

I remember being 10 and really awkward.

It’s possible that I was awkward before that. I grew really fast and then one day when I was about 13, I stopped growing taller. On the plus side, my boobs grew about three years later. Until then, it was a slew of carpenter’s dream jokes. Teenage boys . . . I could do without them. I didn’t think so then but I do now, especially since I have a teenage girl.

I don’t really miss that time of being a young teenager at all. It would be better not to remember, except that it helps to understand what my teenager is going through right now. The teenage years are rough and unforgiving.

I remember my 20s. There was college and drinking and boyfriends. I dyed my hair and wore ugly clothes. There are pictures to prove it. I wrote a lot of awful poetry. There are several journals to prove it.

My 30s were an emotional roller coaster and extremely humbling. I got a divorce. I was in an abusive relationship. I was homeless. I had three kids. Then I got my life back together but not without a lot of work and court appearances. A lot of those memories, I would like to remember less.

Then I started this blog. I write about the past and the future. I take a lot of photos so that I can look at them later and remember what a good time we had.

My 40s have been pretty cool. I’m almost a year into the 40s so it’s too early to say if I love being 40. I still don’t feel old. I don’t think I look 40 yet. I have a feeling that I’ll have Anne Bancroft hair shortly. It’ll be cool. I’ll make it work. I’m trying to remember why I quit dying my hair. It could be because of all of the maintenance – too much work to cover up the inevitable gray streak. So here is a picture of me with my inevitable gray streak.


It could be worse, right?!

I joined the #Midlife Luv linky Party. The link to the linky is here:



Psssst. . . . I have about Ten Minutes of Quiet Time Left . . . .


Summer vacay is here. For the kids. They are having a wonderful time. This week, they’ve only whined about two times apiece so that’s 6 instances of whining. I will take it.

I really only have about ten minutes left before they wake up and take over the universe aka the Internet. It’s ok because I have laundry and packing to do. And then more laundry and packing.

Has anyone else left a bag outside of the car and driven off without it? Then did anyone also have the bag stolen within 20 minutes of leaving? Quickest. Thieves. Ever.

Have fun at the beach thieves! Hope you enjoy my book that I was almost finished with. Sorry, I forgot to leave the sunblock for you but you’ll have some nice bathing suits at any rate.

Needless to say my kids received some snazzy new bathing suits and beach towels. It all worked out in the end.

The kids have also been reading quite a bit for the summer reading program. I’m so happy to see them read a book instead of play video games.

I wish that someone took a picture of me at the end of the night – falling asleep with my sunglasses still on. Maybe it’s for the best. It’s a happy sort of exhaustion I think.

So I’ve been published on Sammiches and Psych Meds again. It’s a post about my dad. It’s similar to the last post about him but not exactly. http://www.sammichespsychmeds.com/my-dad-deserves-better-than-the-worlds-okayest-daughter/

if we were having coffee: roller skating, shopping & ice cream with the birthday princess

If we were having coffee, I would be so happy to see you and have an adult conversation. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had a really awesome day with the birthday princess aka Little Sister #2. I just haven’t really talked to a grown-up beyond introductions (“Hi. I’m her mom. It’s her birthday. Is there any coffee?”)

#birthdaypancakes for the #birthdayprincess
#birthdaypancakes for the #birthdayprincess
  • Lucas made her some birthday pancakes. It should be a thing. Birthday pancakes. #birthdaypancakes
  • We went roller skating with the Girl Scouts. Little Sister wanted to go there for her birthday last year. We didn’t go so I was happy to see roller skating Girl Scout event that fell on her birthday this year. We were all very excited, even though she didn’t get to ride in the giant roller skate. She was happy with the bouncy house and scooter. Nothing seemed to make her happier than racing around me saying “Hi Mom. Bye Mom.”
  • 11209574_10152744221142714_5825868619579664412_nbirthdaygirl2
She loves this dragon.
She loves this dragon.
  •  I don’t know any of the moms. I still don’t know any of the moms. No one was really talkative. No one was rude . . . just not very outgoing.
  • Maybe they didn’t like my pigtails and unicorn shirt. I realize that I’m 40 but I still like pigtails and unicorns. Maybe they just wanted to be alone . . . in a noisy roller skating rink. Not judging. I’ve wanted to be alone in noisy places.
  • So I lasted about five minutes at the table before I put on my skates. I still know that I’m 40 but I really love to go roller skating. If I had really great medical insurance plus great secondary medical insurance, I would join the roller derby. I chose my name and persona, which includes pigtails, a few years ago. However, the chances of getting injured are pretty high. Medical bills are also pretty high.
  • http://www.zazzle.com/this_is_roller_derby_mug-168996904754483520
  • Then we went to Toys R’ Us. Honestly, I got out of there for a bargain price of two toys. I figured it would end up being more toys than we could fit in the car.
  • Little Sister #2 is my fashionista child. She was more than happy to shop for clothes. Old Navy is having a summer kickoff summer sale this weekend. I also got out of there with the bargain price of having the kid stylin’ for the whole summer, flip flops and all. Have I ever mentioned that Little Sister #2 hardly ever wears shorts? It’s all skirts and dresses for the birthday princess from the first warm day of spring until the first chilly day in the fall.
  • 11265206_10152744466052714_7086593302948843113_nbirthdaygirl