Everyone knows a couple that makes you wonder why they are together. One of them is always criticizing the other. Not constructive criticism. The other kind that makes a person doubt that they can do anything.
Partner A has extremely high expectations of Partner B. For example, Partner A thinks Partner B should do more work around the house. Or maybe they want the other to do all of the work on top of having a job and kids.
Lucas and I were discussing what would happen if we had this type of relationship. I’m pretty sure I said that I would hate it and I wouldn’t like him as much. We both laughed because we are not like this at all. It’s not that we have a perfect relationship. I’m sure that he’s irritated by all of my stuff. I have a lot of knick knacks and clothes. He would love it if I parted with some of it. I hate to say it but Lucas is too good at putting the toilet seat down. He puts both the seat and the lid down. It’s a little problematic in the morning when I don’t have my glasses on and I can’t see where it separates.
But we aren’t the nagging type. I think that we work together instead of against each other. It seems to be working for us anyway.
So my question to those that stay in toxic relationships is . . . why? I know from experience that it’s better to be alone than with someone that is constantly in your face about how you should change and not be yourself.
Go find someone with baggage that matches yours.
Tracie Thoms and Idina Menzel (aka Adele Dazeem)