It probably won’t happen. I mean, I could find some pants and maybe a shirt. There are lots of clothes over there in the closet, which is not a real closet. It’s a rack with clothes.
Today, I don’t know if clothes will change my mood. If I put on that little black dress and pearl necklace will I feel like a likeable person?
Will people come over if I put on pants? Will I be more charming if I’m wearing clothes?
Nope. I will still be kind of chubby and socially awkward. It’s not likely to change anytime soon.
So screw that whole wearing clothes thing. I might as well walk around in my underwear and be totally vulnerable.
I don’t think I could be a complete nudist. Is there a “Walking Around in Your Underwear” group or commune. Do you think they would let me join their underwear party?
I wonder if my neighbors can see in the windows. It could be a conversation starter. Maybe they’ll bring wine or ice cream. I accept both.
Just saying, please come over so we can sit around in our underwear and eat ice cream. This could be interpreted as “I’m lonely and need more social interaction without wearing pants but also not totally naked.”
Also, please help me find my copy of “Magic Mike.” Channing Tatum has been my best friend this weekend.
P.S. If you think I have gone off the deep end, you’re probably right.