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Prodigal Daughter? Not this year

Maybe you’ve noticed that I don’t talk about my dad. Today might be the first and last time that I write a post about him.
When I was growing up and through college, my dad was a great dad. Unfortunately, we had a huge falling out about ten years ago. I told him how hurt and angry I was. I am not without fault in this situation. I let my emotions get the better of me for whatever reason.
It hasn’t been the same since then. We’ve gone for years at a time without talking. I usually call him. He never calls me. He never sends me a birthday card.
I could forgive all of that eventually. The thing that I don’t understand is why he never sends my youngest daughter a birthday card. He didn’t visit her in the hospital when she was born. He didn’t visit after she came home. He has only seen her two or three times. She’s five years old. It seems like his relationship is different with my other kids.
The other thing I don’t understand is why he doesn’t want us around. I suspect that I remind him that he’s not perfect. Literally. I really am brutally honest. He hasn’t been honest with me quite as much. If there is something I did ten years ago or six years ago, I want to know.
My mom, who is not my dad’s biggest fan, wants me to talk to him. I’ve done that several times. I feel like I try to get back on track with my dad and then . . . silence. So on January 4, it will be a year since we’ve spoken. I’m not sure if I will be calling again.

I love this song from “The Color Purple.” I wish it could be like that with my dad.
So far, it is only silence from my dad.

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12 responses to “Prodigal Daughter? Not this year”

  1. scoobyclue Avatar
    scoobyclue

    My parents divorced and my father didn’t have much to do with me. We saw each once, and honestly, he was not that into it. I wrote him a letter every month, like nothing happened, like there wasn’t hurt feelings. I tol him the everyday part in my life. At the end of my letter I included my email and my phone number. Never used till about 5 years ago. He called and wanted to see me. I went to visit him, he was dying ( never a word ) and he wanted to see me one more time. One of us had regrets. One of us didn’t. I knew that I did everything I could.

    Only you know what you can and can’t do, try to be sure you are the one with no regrets.

    1. holley4734 Avatar
      holley4734

      I have thought about it a lot. Thanks for sharing your story. I honestly don’t think I can do any more than I have. It has just been a cycle that I don’t want to repeat.

      1. scoobyclue Avatar
        scoobyclue

        I know everyone says it- but you can’t control his reaction and you don’t know what his own personal baggage is … if you’ve done what you could, then you are cool.

  2. Emilio Pasquale Avatar
    Emilio Pasquale

    It’s hard to say I ‘like’ this post. But I understood and must warn you that sometimes you just have to let things go. I know that is impossible with a parent but you have to do what is best for you and your family.

    1. holley4734 Avatar
      holley4734

      Thanks for commenting. Yeah, it’s hard to like something that is . . . difficult, I guess.
      I think I wrote it so I could let it go more. Not sure if that makes sense.
      Thanks for taking the time to read it.

  3. Life Breath Present Avatar
    Life Breath Present

    My relationship with my father is also quite strained. There was a time when he and I talked, a few years back, and agreed to work on getting our relationship in better order again. After that, it seemed that the ball was always on me reaching out, on trying, so I stopped. A relationship is not one-sided, not in my life. Then, my father relapsed. I found out much later and he now really wonders why it is that I don’t have much to do with him. Only twice since I learned of the relapse have I seen him not wasted. He usually reeks and talks nonsense. I just can’t be part of that. It’s about my sanity.

    In other words, I understand difficult relationships, especially with fathers.

    1. holley4734 Avatar
      holley4734

      Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate it. I agree, it’s about your own sanity.
      Just trying to deal and move on.

      1. Life Breath Present Avatar
        Life Breath Present

        Best thing to do, in my opinion anyway 🙂

  4. mdog32 Avatar
    mdog32

    I know how you are feeling, one of my brothers stopped talking to me a little over a year ago. This is the second time he’s done this. I’m not the only one he’s not talking to. He told “my” dad he never wants to hear his name or see his face again for the rest of his life. I put “my” in quotes because my brothers are adopted, I’m not. Mom and Dad weren’t able to have kids so they adopted one brother, then two years later adopted the 2nd one then 10 years later they had me. I’ve reached out to him before and I’m just out of cheeks. I can’t turn another one because he will just hurt me again and I have found my life is easier without having to worry about him. I do pray for him but he made his bed, he has to lay in it. I’m sorry you’re going through this too and that he’s now involved one of your kids. Hopefully one day he will come around. ~Gina

    1. holley4734 Avatar
      holley4734

      Thanks for sharing. Sorry about your brother. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. But it still stinks for those who have to go through it.
      I hope it changes but I don’t expect it to.
      Thanks again! 🙂

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