Maybe you’ve noticed that I don’t talk about my dad. Today might be the first and last time that I write a post about him.
When I was growing up and through college, my dad was a great dad. Unfortunately, we had a huge falling out about ten years ago. I told him how hurt and angry I was. I am not without fault in this situation. I let my emotions get the better of me for whatever reason.
It hasn’t been the same since then. We’ve gone for years at a time without talking. I usually call him. He never calls me. He never sends me a birthday card.
I could forgive all of that eventually. The thing that I don’t understand is why he never sends my youngest daughter a birthday card. He didn’t visit her in the hospital when she was born. He didn’t visit after she came home. He has only seen her two or three times. She’s five years old. It seems like his relationship is different with my other kids.
The other thing I don’t understand is why he doesn’t want us around. I suspect that I remind him that he’s not perfect. Literally. I really am brutally honest. He hasn’t been honest with me quite as much. If there is something I did ten years ago or six years ago, I want to know.
My mom, who is not my dad’s biggest fan, wants me to talk to him. I’ve done that several times. I feel like I try to get back on track with my dad and then . . . silence. So on January 4, it will be a year since we’ve spoken. I’m not sure if I will be calling again.
I love this song from “The Color Purple.” I wish it could be like that with my dad.
So far, it is only silence from my dad.