There are things that I could tell you about being in a terrible relationship, where every little thing is criticized and you put up with it because the other person is basically a monster. It’s just that the monster is posing as someone that is supposed to care about you.
Every October, I remember all over again. October is when I became intensely aware of domestic violence. You could say it all came to a boiling point.
At some point, I should be so far away from still feeling all of it. It’s been seven years since I left.
I had to be reminded that it was domestic violence awareness month. This is the first year that I don’t feel the same amount of guilt and depression and stupidity. Usually when October comes around, depression appears and I want to find a cave to hide in but not this year.
Although, I’m not the same person as I was seven or eight years ago, the emotions and quirks are not gone totally.
For example, I still don’t like to eat at the dinner table because everyone will hear me scrape my fork on my teeth. It’s ridiculous, I am aware. No one cares anymore if I scrape my teeth on the fork. No one hears it. No one ever heard it – except one person who needed something to complain about.
My friend, Darla, at New World Mom has a really great post about domestic violence. Seven years ago, I didn’t have many friends. Now I have one named Darla. How awesome is that?!
It’s been 18 years for me and while I don’t dwell on it, it hits me here and there unexpectedly.
*Hugs* Yeah, I get it. Totally. Thanks! Hugs aren’t so bad.
I am glad that you are feeling less and less guilty about it and that the depression is waning. You deserve better! I wrote a post on Domestic Violence too. You can read it if you want: http://www.rockinrandommom.com/2015/10/26/how-domestic-violence-affects-children/ Visiting from #blogsharelearn the thursday thread.
Thank you! Will be visiting ASAP. Thanks for visiting.
You’re very welcome!;)